“She’s not going to like me”… Today I discovered that I unconsciously and automatically tell myself this and I believe it every time that I’m near sexy girls that I want to approach. And the scariest most sickening part of this whole experience was discovering that I am saying this limiting belief to myself automatically and not consciously. You see, prior to today I would always get terrible, almost crippling, approach anxiety but I didn’t know why. Being in situations where I could approach sexy girls always led to feelings of fear about the approach but I don’t ever recall consciously telling myself point blank, “She’s not going to like you”. The belief was always there but outside of my conscious mind, in the background, working against me.
So why was today different and how did I discover that I was unconsciously carrying inside of me this terrible belief? I was doing an exercise from Hypnotica’s “Collection of Confidence” inner game audio program. Basically, I was to go out to a place where there were lots of women, like a mall, to look for sexy / attractive girls, and then simply to take note of the automatic thoughts that popped into my head when I thought about approaching them. I didn’t actually have to approach them (if I didn’t want to). It was all about discovering your automatic thoughts. This actually turned out to be a lot harder than I thought because most of the time I didn’t get any verbal, conscious thoughts popping into my mind (like, “she’s going to make fun of me”), rather I simply got a feeling of fear / anxiousness that kept me from approaching. But the whole point of this exercise was to discover the ideas or beliefs that are causing these feelings because you can’t fight the fearful emotions with anything (well maybe you can) but it’s much easier to look at an idea and argue against it, invalidate it, and prove it as being patently false. It’s very easy to invalidate a stupid belief system but the real crux of the problem is identifying and knowing you have one in the first place.